Just be :)

I have had expectations about this trip. I expected to feel uncomfortable at times, to have no idea what was going on or what is being said, to feel in way over my head. And all of these things have definitely happened throughout this past month. But I was also expecting to be doing a lot. I was expecting to be doing things all the time, like planning English lessons and working with kids and doing, doing, doing. Because that's what I travelled so far to do, right??

But, the Lord has slowly revealed to me that He doesn't want me to do, do, do just to produce results for people who have supported me so I can tell them all the "good things" I did and all of the people that I helped. Or so I can feel good about myself.


He just desires for me to be.


To be me, to be who I am in Him and not busy myself with doing. To simply be in His presence and be open and willing to be used in His work. To soak it up and let the "doing" flow out from knowing Him better.

I've realized that it's when we sit back and allow the Lord to work that we can be passionately motivated by the heart of the Father instead of our own man-made, weightless ambition. I've been so moved the past few weeks through relationships that the Lord has put in my life here in Chile, and I cannot fathom the fact that I never would have met these new friends if I had never come here. This is something that I was not expecting at all, but I am so, so grateful that the Lord had a plan that was much better than what I could have imagined.

And here's the catch: I didn't DO a single thing - I just made myself available emotionally, physically, and spiritually, and the Lord did all the work. I opened up my life to my new sister, and the Lord used those conversations to work in her heart and she felt safe to open up to me in a way she had never done before. Seeing how the Lord used His work in my life to bless another sister in Christ so profoundly was one of the most moving things I've ever experienced, and I know that this sister of mine will be very close to my heart long after I leave Chile. I'm already dreading the day that is all-too-quickly approaching when I will have to say good-bye, but I know that the Lord has an incredible plan for her and for me. His goodness and provision is overflowing :)

Where in your life do you feel like you're working tirelessly, and you're still failing? Are you simply doing and not being? What would it look like for you to just take a step back and pray for the Lord to give you His perspective, and pray for His grace? Are there relationships in your life that you're not fully available for? I mean, are you really listening? Or, are you expecting something in return? Because the blessings that come from selfless, honest, completely transparent relationships is worth SO much more than pride and good appearances.

God can use you in your relationships to help others see who they really are in Christ. And although I haven't experienced every single thing there is to experience in the world, I can say with a good amount of confidence that there is probably nothing more life-changing or rewarding than that :)