Good to me

It has been a while since I've posted anything, but since my last post I have returned to college and started my SENIOR year! The first few weeks at home proved to be pretty challenging, and I am still missing Chile and my host family quite a bit, but I am looking forward to this year and what the Lord will do here at JMU :)

I don't really know how to express my gratefulness adequately, but I will try. I am so, so thankful for those that have supported me through this. Many of you made an investment and/or prayed for me and for the work that God is doing in Chile, and I pray that you have been blessed! I certainly have.

Something that I learned a lot about this summer was God's goodness. I've experienced what it feels like to not always believe that He is good, because for me that often depends on the circumstance I am in. I can get really irritated when people say, "But don't worry, God is good and He has a plan!" Okay, I know you're trying to be encouraging and helpful, but I just don't believe it right now. And I began to question if I truly believed that God was good, or if I thought He was just some distant, far-off being who didn't really care about me or my life. I wrestled with this a lot this summer, and this lack of belief in His goodness is part of why it was so hard for me to leave Chile.

I realized that didn't believe that God would be good enough to give me what I wanted, and if there was no way that I could get what I wanted, I didn't believe that His other plans for me would still be good. 

I hated realizing the depths of my lack of trust, but it helped me see what I was really struggling with: I didn't want to leave Chile because I wasn't sure if/when/how I would ever be able to get back.

THEN. I had a meeting last week with an associate Dean in the College of Education to find out more information about Student Teaching that I will be doing next fall. I have been interested in student teaching internationally, but I didn't know where. As I scanned the list of countries that are offered, my eyes found Chile and my heart started beating faster. WHY had I not thought of that?! That's when I realized that God was clearly showing me that it is possible. I doubt Him so often, but my lack of belief in His goodness has no impact on the truth - He is good, regardless of what I believe or don't believe.

I'm still not sure if I am meant to student teach in Chile, but I know that whether I return to Chile or He leads me somewhere else, He is always good and His plan is good, and those truths will never change.

Heaviness

I knew from the beginning of this whole thing that the hardest part would be leaving Chile. Not getting ready for it, because that was exciting. Not being away from home for 2 months, because I've been away before. Returning to what is familiar and trying to apply the things that God has taught me in my everyday life I knew would be tough. But, I didn't know just how hard it would be to leave until I got here. And the past few days I've been trying to enjoy everything and soak up every last moment that I have here with people that I've come to love so dearly, but I'm so aware of the sadness that sets in every time I realize that days keep passing by, without regard for my hopeless desperation to stop them in their tracks.

This place and these people mean so, so much to me. God planned all along for me to stay with a family that welcomed me in so lovingly, who treated me like their daughter and sister who had always been here. Despite the pain and the difficulties they've faced as a family this past year, they've opened up their lives to me and welcomed me into the church that meets in their home, and I've witnessed firsthand how the Lord is drawing new members and growing the community and fellowship here in His love. And I never would have foreseen that my brother and sister - who live on the opposite side of the world - would have so many things in common with me: our love for music and worship, our hearts for loving kids and affirming their worth and wanting them to know that Christ loves them, regardless of their circumstances. I'm going to miss the heartfelt prayers and late-night chats, the back-and-forth conversations in Spanish (which I have gotten better at with practice), the songs we've sung and played together in both languages, the constant teasing and poking and name-calling, and falling asleep on each other on the couch. And I'm going to miss walking alongside them through hard things and through good things, and seeing what the Lord is doing day by day in their lives.

So, my heart is heavy. I know I'm meant to go home and complete what the Lord has given me to do there, but I will miss them all very, very much. Please pray that I have peace and joy for what is to come, and no regrets about leaving.

My team has been such a support and a blessing as well, and both the Millers' and Jones' are going through transitions as they prepare to return to the states. Please pray that they are able to discern where the Lord is leading them and that they can find homes and supporters when they return for this time.

I am so grateful for Christ's work here in Chile, in my heart and in the hearts of my new friends and team members. I'm completely blown away that I've been used so tangibly in His work here. I want to hold on to this joy and gratefulness so the sadness will be replaced with a growing, unshakeable hope for the next time I will have the opportunity to be used in another part of His Kingdom.

I want my heart to echo the words of Paul when he said -

"I have great confidence in you; I take great pride in you. I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles, my joy knows no bounds."

2 Corinthians 7:4


That's what I want: despite the pain of separation, I want a joy that knows no bounds. A joy that only comes from Christ.

Just be :)

I have had expectations about this trip. I expected to feel uncomfortable at times, to have no idea what was going on or what is being said, to feel in way over my head. And all of these things have definitely happened throughout this past month. But I was also expecting to be doing a lot. I was expecting to be doing things all the time, like planning English lessons and working with kids and doing, doing, doing. Because that's what I travelled so far to do, right??

But, the Lord has slowly revealed to me that He doesn't want me to do, do, do just to produce results for people who have supported me so I can tell them all the "good things" I did and all of the people that I helped. Or so I can feel good about myself.


He just desires for me to be.


To be me, to be who I am in Him and not busy myself with doing. To simply be in His presence and be open and willing to be used in His work. To soak it up and let the "doing" flow out from knowing Him better.

I've realized that it's when we sit back and allow the Lord to work that we can be passionately motivated by the heart of the Father instead of our own man-made, weightless ambition. I've been so moved the past few weeks through relationships that the Lord has put in my life here in Chile, and I cannot fathom the fact that I never would have met these new friends if I had never come here. This is something that I was not expecting at all, but I am so, so grateful that the Lord had a plan that was much better than what I could have imagined.

And here's the catch: I didn't DO a single thing - I just made myself available emotionally, physically, and spiritually, and the Lord did all the work. I opened up my life to my new sister, and the Lord used those conversations to work in her heart and she felt safe to open up to me in a way she had never done before. Seeing how the Lord used His work in my life to bless another sister in Christ so profoundly was one of the most moving things I've ever experienced, and I know that this sister of mine will be very close to my heart long after I leave Chile. I'm already dreading the day that is all-too-quickly approaching when I will have to say good-bye, but I know that the Lord has an incredible plan for her and for me. His goodness and provision is overflowing :)

Where in your life do you feel like you're working tirelessly, and you're still failing? Are you simply doing and not being? What would it look like for you to just take a step back and pray for the Lord to give you His perspective, and pray for His grace? Are there relationships in your life that you're not fully available for? I mean, are you really listening? Or, are you expecting something in return? Because the blessings that come from selfless, honest, completely transparent relationships is worth SO much more than pride and good appearances.

God can use you in your relationships to help others see who they really are in Christ. And although I haven't experienced every single thing there is to experience in the world, I can say with a good amount of confidence that there is probably nothing more life-changing or rewarding than that :)

I am a gringo.

As I've spent some more time here in Chile and more of my American-ness is showing, I've realized just how different these two cultures are, but seeing these differences has been interesting and pretty hilarious.

I've learned that Chileans generally like Americans, and (usually) affectionately call us "gringos". Gringo food and really anything you thought you couldn't live without from the States can be found at the local equivalent of Wal-mart, which does in fact sell Great Value brand items. This made tonight's gringo dinner (homemade pizza that I made with my host sister Belen) possible. and delicious.

At first, I didn't like having a name applied to me that immediately fit me into a stereotype that I didn't want to continue, but as time has passed, I've realized that as much as I don't necessarily like it, I am in fact, a gringo. And, although my pride would argue, I think it's good that I've come to embrace my gringo identity. Here are a few examples:

     - I take my shoes off when I come inside and my host family asks me repeatedly if my feet are cold. They're not, I respond many times, but apparently those responses do nothing to calm their worries, so I put my shoes back on in an attempt to change the topic of conversation. This is when I realized: only gringos take their shoes off inside in the winter. Of course.

     - Similarly, only gringos frequently forget to bring their coat with them when they leave the house in June. Because they are still in "summer" mode. I mean really, it's supposed to be a sunny 85 degrees and humid. I'm still confused about why it's cold outside, and then I remember that I'm on a different hemisphere. Silly gringos, they don't even know what season it is.

     - I drink water. I don't even drink enough water, but apparently Chileans are a different species of human and survive without drinking ANY. Tea, coffee, Coca-cola and sometimes super sugared-up juice. No water. ever. It's weird to drink water. and I've been SO THIRSTY. and confused. How is this possible?? Oh those gringos, when they come over to visit, they ask for water but I'm sure they're just being polite and don't want to ask us for a Coke. No really, I just want water, thanks.

     - I don't prefer mayonnaise. But Chileans, oh they LOVE it. Mayo even has its' own spot between the aisles at the grocery store. Mayo goes on anything really; on toasted bread, on rice and potatoes, and on a specialty dish here called a "completo" which is a hot dog in a hot dog bun slathered in mayo, avocado, ketchup, mustard and tomatoes. Sounds interesting, huh? My host brother Lucas one night ate an entire completo and these things are literally as long as my forearm. Gringo hot dogs are boring in comparison, with just ketchup, mustard and sometimes relish. And they don't even know what relish is.

     - And speaking of dogs, there are stray dogs everywhere here. They have overrun the city, and they sometimes steal food out of your grocery bag on your way home from the store, and bark incessantly at literally nothing at all. So to the rest of Quillota these dogs range from small annoyances to major inconveniences, but to me, a gringo, they're all abandoned, helpless victims who just want someone to love them. My heart nearly jumps out of my chest every time we're driving through the city and a dog moves out of the way at the very last possible second. This happens all too often. One day we were in Valpo, and I was petting a dog that I thought belonged to a shop owner, but I soon realized as we were walking away that the dog didn't belong to anyone, because it was following us as we walked further and further down the road. I think I said something like, "Aw, he just wants a friend." and my friend and co-intern Meredith, whose realistic point of view is quite juxtaposed to my emotional idealism said, "No, I'm pretty sure he just wants food." Yes, that's when I realized one of my most defining moments as a gringo: only way-too-compassionate gringos pet the dogs.

I am a gringo.

"Remember who He is. Remember who you are. And then, just live."

Let me just say, God is absolutely here and working in Quillota! It has been such an incredible thing to see Him working so clearly in the small amount of time that I've been here.

Last Saturday, we had the opportunity to visit a ministry site where we will be working the next few weeks. Renacer means "to be born again"and it's the name of the site we visited. Currently undergoing a lot of construction and planning, Renacer provides a safe place for many in the community and runs a number of ministries, including providing housing for the homeless, delivering clothing to the elderly, and running programs for children who live in the poorer part of the city. We will have many opportunities to work at Renacer by helping to teach English classes and getting to know people there. However, Renacer is very much in need of prayer! There is a need for at least $5,000 dollars to complete the projects that are already in progress. The director of Renacer also needs help and direction with how to run these many areas of ministry. They simply don't have enough resources for each area even though there is a desire to meet every need. Please pray that the director and volunteers will gain a more clear understanding of where their resources should go so they can do more effective ministry! I'm excited to share more about what our ministry there will look like in the coming weeks.

Currently, the interns are working through a discipleship curriculum with the Millers' and the Jones' called Gospel Identity. We've only done one day of study so far, and it has already given me so much to chew on. The first main theme we started working through has been understanding who we really are in Christ, apart from what we do. Often, we can think that what we do is what ultimately defines us, but as children of God, it is actually who we are that defines what we do. It was so hard to describe who I am to the rest of the team without describing what I do! Believe me - try it for yourself, and see what you can come up with. It's hard! But God defines us as His children, first and foremost, and out of our understanding of that truth flows our actions. I've gained so much wisdom from our team already, and I've been writing down things they've said that have impacted me. Meredith Jones said in a conversation a few days ago,

"Remember who He is. Remember who you are. And then, just live."

The Gospel is just that! We can often make it more complicated than it really is. We can often make a checklist of the things we should do or the ways we should improve to become "better Christians" and become closer to Christ, but instead we can trust that He will work with us as we battle our sin and we have the freedom to live in His grace! It has been an incredible time so far, and I look forward to what else I will learn as we delve deeper.

Thank you for your prayers and your encouragement!! I hope and pray that the Lord is blessing you as well :)

Bienvenido a Chile!

Well, I have arrived safely to Quillota, Chile!! After a few days of prep and training with the other WHM Intern teams in Philly and half a days' worth of traveling, I am SO excited to finally be here! I'm definitely feeling overwhelmed, but in a good way. Just from the drive to Quillota from Santiago, I can tell this country is so beautiful and has so much to teach me.

But, despite the good attitude I wanted to have this morning, something happened right off the bat that challenged my ability to maintain control of my perspective. As we walked to get our bags from baggage claim, each of us found all of our checked bags, except for - of course, my most treasured possession - my guitar. I had a feeling that it was possible that it would happen, but I had a 50-pound backpack and two other bags to carry, so I really wanted to cut down on the amount of things I had to drag through the airport. So I checked it. That was a mistake. THANKFULLY the missionaries we will be working with this summer came to pick us up and they were so encouraging and helpful, and one of them took me to find the airline's office and we spoke with someone who let me know that it is currently in Atlanta. I am so thankful that I at least know where it is! The airline is going to ship it to the mission family's house in Quillota later this week. Please be praying that it travels here safely!!

So, although that is not how I was hoping my arrival would go, the day definitely got much better from there. We went with our team back to their home and relaxed and ate lunch while we talked about, well, lots of things! We began to get to know each other and discussed the culture, the friends they've made in Quillota, and the plans for the next few days. We will be going on some excursions to Los Andes - the mountains - and Valparaiso, a coastal city, tomorrow and Friday. I cannot wait to see some more of this country's beautiful land!

After lunch, the three interns departed for their host homes. Erin, Meredith, and I are staying with different Chilean families while we're here, and these families are good friends of the mission team we're working with. I arrived at my home this afternoon and I already feel like part of the family! My brain has been going a mile a minute as I've tried to listen as quickly as I can to their Spanish and attempt, often miserably, to form some coherent response, but I've been able to communicate much better than I anticipated! I know my conversational Spanish can only get better from here on out :)

I am so incredibly grateful that so many of you are keeping me and my team in your prayers. It is so encouraging to know that so many are praying for God's work to be done here, and I am so humbled to be a part of it! If you would like to email me, my email address is laurissa.dragan@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you and how you're doing as well!

en Cristo,

Laurissa

Faithful :)

He is so faithful, I cannot believe that in just SIX DAYS I will finally be in Chile!! God has faithfully provided all of the money I needed! I have been so humbled and I am so grateful for the support of friends and family members, I can't thank you all enough!!

On June 9th, I will arrive at World Harvest Mission's sending center in Philadelphia to join my team and a few other intern teams, and from there we will go to a retreat center for the next couple of days to prepare for our trips. While we're there, we will have some training and much-needed prayer and worship time. Then on June 11th, we will fly out of Philadelphia to our locations for the next couple of months! I will hopefully be able to post updates along the way.

I CAN'T WAIT!!! :)

So hard, but so, so good

I was wondering when it would happen. When it would finally hit me that I would be out of this country and in an entirely different one for the next two months. When I would feel the weight of what that means, and what in my life will change as a result. That moment happened today, 20 days until Chile.

I was filling out an application this afternoon for a scholarship I am eligible to receive for financial support for this trip. Two of the questions on the form I had been neglecting to fill out for some time made me stop and think long enough to let it all sink in.

"In what area of your relationship with Christ do you see a need for growth? How will participating in this project help you grow in this area?"

At the beginning of my thought process, I'll admit, my initial answers to these questions were pretty lame and were not even close to the truth of my real struggles. I don't know who I'm trying to fool when I'm dishonest with myself and with God, because I know that He already knows what I'm really thinking and feeling, even if I don't understand or I just don't want to admit it to myself. WHY do we do this to ourselves? Where does this desire to look perfect before an all-knowing God come from? He already knows me fully and loves me completely, yet I still automatically try to pretend like everything's fine when I'm faced with my flaws and shortcomings. Why isn't my immediate reaction to accept His grace? It would really make this whole sanctification thing so much easier.

It was while I forced myself to answer these questions truthfully that it all hit me. God intends to challenge me like I've never been challenged before, and it's His desire that I become completely broken of my own strength and my own will in order to be rebuilt as a better representation of who He is. I don't know what specifically that will look like, but I know I'll be challenged to surrender, to sacrifice, to give up my pride and my self-sufficiency.

It will be painful.
It will be frustrating.
It will be so. hard.

But, I also know it will be so, so good. 

I won't really be losing anything. I'll be selling my less valuable possessions in order to buy a treasure that has endless worth. It will be through this process that these difficult areas of my relationship with God will definitely be tested and grown.

And I know that in this relationship, I am the one who fails. I am the one who wanders, the one who constantly falls short and needs to be reminded every single moment of who He really is. He has never gone anywhere, He has never had to answer any question like "In what area of your relationship with Laurissa are you not doing your best?" Nope, that's all on me. But it's through these challenges that I'm faced with even more of my brokenness, and I get to watch Him rebuild me.

It's painful. It's frustrating. And it's so hard.

But it is so good. And He is so good. :)

Exposing Lies with Truth

I've been hearing a lot of lies lately. And all too easily, the Enemy uses my fears to make me believe them. I've been afraid of preparing for this trip - I'm afraid that God won't provide the funds I need. I'm afraid I will completely miss everything God is trying to teach me because I'll be so focused on myself. I'm afraid of what He'll  challenge me to sacrifice.

These fears make me believe that:

- God can't use me.
- I'm not good enough.
- I don't have the faith it takes.

But God has been using his people around me to expose these lies and bring them into the light. I have been learning what the message of the Gospel means in a whole new way as I have been preparing for Chile.

- God CAN and DOES use me, and my actions - whether they are failures or successes -  do NOT determine His sovereignty in my life - He is always sovereign. And some other great news, He delights in me and wants to use me for His purpose.

- I am not and will never be "good enough", but Jesus' sacrifice covers me and right now He sees me clothed in white, and completely pure.

- I don't have faith on my own, and there is no way I can force myself to trust, but I have faith through the Holy Spirit living in me.

        "Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord."

1 Corinthians 1:26-31

      "As for us, our hope is that God will put us right with him; and this is what we wait for by the power of God's Spirit working through our faith." 
Galatians 5:5

What lies are you believing? What does God say in response to them?

Zion - Your Kingdom Come

I leave for Chile in 50 DAYS!!! I am so excited for the experiences I will have soon on a totally different hemisphere of the world! I think the opportunities that I've had to travel are what started my fascination with culture, and I've loved studying it more as I've been at college. The coolest part about everything I've been learning has been understanding more about God through the people He has made. Something our Intern Coordinator explained to us over the Intern Training Weekend that really stuck with me was the idea that just as each individual person has characteristics and traits that reflect the image of God, so does every culture on earth. I found this to be so interesting, and it made me even more excited to experience a new culture this summer and seek to find Him in it!

Something else I've been learning about has been the cultural contexts in which Jesus interacted with others while he was on earth. I've been reading a book called Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes by Kenneth Bailey, and in it the author brings so much added cultural information that has breathed new life into stories that I've read countless times. Knowing what words actually mean and the context in which they're said adds so much significance!

One chapter I just finished reading dissected The Lord's Prayer, which is something that we also looked at a lot over my spring break trip to New York. This chapter specifically talks about the phrase "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven."

The hardest part about living on this broken earth is that we see fleeting glimpses of the way the world was supposed to be - without pain, without suffering, without shame - and we can never truly experience this perfection until we are fully united with Christ. But despite this separation, we can be used by God to represent this coming Kingdom to the world right now, wherever we are. We should desire to close the gap between the realities of earth and the realities of heaven - because the perfection of heaven is SO REAL!

This is what Zion means to us now - building up God's Kingdom on earth in anticipation for Christ's return by attempting to represent Him to all we encounter, in any and every circumstance.

I am SO thankful for the support I've received thus far! But I still have a log way to go to reach my financial goal - $4,625 is the most I've ever had to raise and that number seems bigger now more than ever! I would so appreciate it if you took the time to pray and consider supporting me. Prayer support is just as important to me!! I know it will be more difficult for me to see where the Lord is working if I am not seeking Him through this process and while I'm gone this summer. Please be praying that the Lord would provide financial support, and that He would prepare my heart and the hearts of the people I will meet!

Here is the link to my donation page! Thank you!

http://www.whm.org/give/give-to-a-missionary

OVER 50% FUNDED!!!

I HAVE OFFICIALLY PASSED THE HALFWAY MARK!!! Over 50% of my support has been raised - Praise God! I am SO humbled and grateful. Thank you so much to those who have made the decision to partner with me in this. I know you have made sacrifices in order to support me, and I cannot adequately express how much that means to me. Thank you for trusting in the Lord!!

IMSOEXCITED :)

68 days and counting...

Okay, someone please tell me how it's already APRIL and in one month I'm going to be a SENIOR. IN COLLEGE. I never thought about what it would be like to actually be this old... and I remember thinking as a 6th grader that the 8th graders were so much older and wiser. Well now that I'm not only an adult, I'm 21 and only one year away from graduating from the awesome yet strange thing that is college into reality, I can't help but laugh.

And if you really stop to consider it, you'll realize that college is a strange thing. Think about it: for four years, you're living in a world where you're constantly surrounded by people who are all the same age as you (besides professors), and you're all doing the same. exact. things. Yeah, we all might be majoring in different things, but we're all going to class, studying, eating at the same places, and doing the same activities. For four years. I found, especially while I lived on campus, that interacting with a human being that is outside the age range of 18-22 becomes a rare occurrence.

I definitely laugh about these strange aspects of college life, but sometimes I actually struggle with them as well. It's so easy to feel so removed from what's really happening in the world, and become so inward-focused and tunnel-visioned. Our culture encourages us to focus on ourselves during this time in our lives, to "find ourselves" and "discover who we really are," but I've learned that when I try to do that on my own without Christ, the more lost and confused I become.

Because of my heart for missions and the past experiences I have had abroad, I cannot WAIT to get to Chile!!! I've come to love adventure and risk-taking, because those experiences are where I've so clearly witnessed the Lord working in my life. When I force myself out of this strange world I'm living in, God does nothing but bless me. So, living in this pseudo-world of college has really been a constant struggle for me - I just want to go!! But through all of this, I've been so blessed by the people the Lord has placed in my life to encourage me.

One quote that a friend of mine sent me in regards to this was -

"Wherever you are, be all there." - Jim Elliot

Despite my huge, numerous dreams for my future and all of the crazy awesome things I want to do, I can't forget that God is HERE and is working in my life right now, even if things aren't new or exciting all the time. He is shaping me and molding me day by day through seemingly unimportant things to be the woman He wants me to be. That process is precious to Him, and should be precious to me.

And here's something that my mom has always told me that I will never forget -

"Bloom where you're planted."

I heard this SO MUCH growing up, and most of the time when I heard it, I probably followed it with an eye-roll or a snarky comment because I was unhappy with some (probably) silly situation in my life. But it is so, so encouraging to me now. I am where I am for a purpose, and although I can't always see His work while it's happening, I know I will be able to look back and see where His hands have been.

Thank you so much to those of you who have been sending financial support!! I have been raising funds steadily, and I will need 50% by next week to stay on track! I'm not quite there yet, and I still have the majority left to raise. I would love it if you would consider supporting me!
I value your prayers too! It means so much to me to know that there are people in my life who are lifting up this trip in prayer - not only for me, but for those who I will get to know as well!

Here's the link to the donation page!
http://www.whm.org/give/give-to-a-missionary

Quillota, Chile

Finally, it's Saturday. After returning from an incredible spring break trip to New York City with InterVarsity, this past week of classes was rough. School seems like the most irrelevant thing in my life right now - thank goodness there are only a few more weeks in this semester! But God has been providing joy despite my bad attitude, haha :)

I wanted to share a little more about what I will be doing when I get to Chile in June! Just this past weekend, I was in Philadelphia for WHM's Intern Training Weekend, where interns that will be traveling all over the world this summer received some cross-cultural training and support raising help, as well as an opportunity to get to know their fellow teammates! 

Here's my lovely teammate, Meredith! I really enjoyed meeting her last weekend and I am so looking forward to getting to know her better as we serve together in Chile!

My intern team has the incredible privilege of being the first WHM team EVER to be placed in South America! I am SO excited to be part of this completely new experience - I have absolutely NO idea what to expect and it's likely that plans will change, but I've learned over the past few years that I love unpredictability. It forces me to let go of expectations and release burdens and just be still before Christ. Of course, living in the midst of uncertain circumstances is incredibly frustrating and unsettling, but I've seen so clearly through times of change that God is my only true constant, the one thing that remains. 

My favorite artist Brooke Fraser posted this quote a while ago on her Facebook page, and it so accurately describes what I've learned this semester.

"So much external transience means interior stability is that much more important."

Truth. So, even though this summer might look very different from what we're planning, this is what I know so far! I will be working with kids in the community at an English camp, and hopefully serving in a worship and music ministry as well. Something I love about World Harvest Mission is the emphasis they put on discipleship and deepening relationships with others while growing closer to Christ. I’m excited to learn more about what discipleship looks like in a cross-cultural setting by using discipleship curriculum in Spanish and being immersed in Chilean culture!

During the two months we’re there, we will also have the opportunity to explore the country! The Andes mountain range is the second largest in the world, and I can’t wait to see it in person! It sounds like hiking and/or rock climbing will be possibilities, and since I am a mountain person that’s something I am definitely looking forward to! Maybe this is enough of a reason for me to get a better camera... :)

I've been able to skype with the missionaries that are living in Quillota, and they have been so encouraging! It's wonderful to know that they are praying for us as we raise support and prepare spiritually for the summer.

Thank you SO MUCH to those who have been praying for me and who have already donated!! I’m praying that God blesses you as you partner with me in His plan. I’ve already witnessed His incredible faithfulness and provision, and I’m sure it’s just the beginning!

Doxa - "a glorious condition"

So, here it is - I've created a blog to document my preparation for my summer in Chile!! I am BEYOND excited for what God will continue to teach me and for the experiences I will have when I finally get there! I have been so affirmed and encouraged through this process already and I can say with confidence that I have never been more sure of anything in my life. I know God will humble me and use me for incredible things!

If you know me at all, you probably know that I love music. Always have, and I always will. It's my favorite way to proclaim truth about the Father and enjoy His presence. I also used to lead worship in my youth group at home, and through high school it was clear that God was bringing up the idea of worship over and over again as a theme in my life. It just kept coming up, and after a while I realized that God was trying to get my attention.

So I did what I usually do when I notice a pattern - I looked up the word that kept reoccurring in the Bible in its original translation and found something pretty cool.

One of the words used in Greek for worship in the Bible is doxa, which means, "a most glorious condition, a most exalted state - the glorious condition of blessedness into which is appointed and promised that Christians shall enter after their Saviour's return from heaven."

Worship doesn't just involve music, although that is one of my favorite ways to worship - it is SO much more. It is a condition of our hearts. It's the condition of our lives as we are continually transformed by the cross and living in hope for the coming Kingdom. Doxa is living as if Christ has returned and the Kingdom of God was here right now - choosing to follow Him into brokenness and suffering and displaying His love to others relying only on Him.

I hope to live out the meaning of doxa in every relationship, in every interaction I have with others, and in every trial I am handed. This is not only what I want my time in Chile to be like - I want my entire life to be characterized by the doxa that I unceasingly offer to Christ.

I want my life to be a glorious condition.