Time is a tricky thing

I think one thing that I could say about these past 3 weeks in Toronto (and really my past few months) is that time is tricky. Sometimes it feels like so much of it has passed when it really hasn’t at all, or the complete opposite. We’ve been here as a team for three weeks, and we have learned and experienced so much about the city, and we have also had time to rest and reflect. Living in close community with 9 others makes it feel like a lot is going on all the time, and we are constantly challenging each other to dig deeper about our experiences and see God working in them. This makes it seem like so much has occurred in these past 3 weeks, but then I step back and realize that it’s only been 3 weeks.

Something else I have learned is that we all expect God to fit into our finite, distorted, human definition of time, and I have seen so clearly how I impose that on how I think God should work. I have learned a lot about my expectations of when and how things should happen, and I have attempted to rush things and slow things down based on my warped definition of time, which in turn shrinks my definition of God.

When God is present in our lives, we get a glimpse of eternity – a place where time is not confined by hours, days, months, years. God’s presence alone stands outside of time, and when we stand with Him in that place, our definition of time changes and we can see the unimpeded work of His hands.

An insane amount of change has been happening in my life for the past 2 months. God has broken a lot of my plans and expectations for the upcoming year, and has begun rebuilding them in such a short amount of time to re-align them to Himself. This rapid destruction, upheaval, and renewal is making me question if what’s happening is even real. My reality has been changing too quickly for my heart and mind to catch up, and it’s been overwhelming. But I’m seeing that none of what is happening is occurring from my own will and effort – God is weaving his desires for me into my future and moving and shifting things himself, and that has given me so much peace and excitement amidst the confusion.

I no longer want to place my expectations of timing and when things should happen on an infinite and eternal God – I want to be so content in His presence alone and live so fully in that, so I can only experience time the way He does, exactly like this song describes - 

When You Walk Into the Room - Bryan and Katie Torwalt